it's been over ten years now. depeche mode and me. It all started in april 2001, I saw 101 on mtv and got totally carried away. especially when i heard he crowd singing 'everything counts'.
it was a foundation to my concert attitude. i always cry when i hear people sing like that. aww.. ;]
anyway. i was sinking into depeche mode world. day after day i was getting deeper and deeper into martin, dave and fletch. never really loved alan. but of course i'm glad that he was in this band and did what he did. loved the world of depeche mode. finally i cut myself out from the world, spent whole days with earphones and didn't really give a fuck about the world outside.
i was given three cds by a guy i met on our depeche mode barrel chat - construction time again, sofad and ultra.
than - really don't remmber how i got the money - i bought tix for DM's concert in warsaw. it was not going to be my first gig at all, but believe me, what was happening at my home about that gig was HELL. my parents did not want to let me go there. the gig was scheduled for september 2nd, so another months we spent on arguing why i should or shouldn't go there. but as i bought two tickets, it was obvious that i'm taking my sister (older) or she's taking me - depends if we look from my parents' or my side ;) i was crazy about this band. i was SO crazy. i remember wearing only black clothes, heavy boots, recording EVERYTHING that was in the tv (and the promotion of 'exciter' and warsaw's gig started so there was a lot to record). i still have those video tapes, but as everything can be now found on youtube i don't really feel the need to play them. i also was buying everything with depeche mode. posters, papers, bagdes.. everything. and i bought a book.
band's biography written by steve malins. i kept it waiting for vacation, so i was reading it during family holiday on the coast.
i love the sea.
depeche mode + sea = you can't get more. or maybe only dm + sea + a good lover can be any better.
of course i loved the book.
and now.
two days ago i went to empik - book store. while i was getting there i wanted to call my sis to tell her that 10 years ago, in may, about that time, i bought tix for one of the greatest concert of our lives in that particular place.
did not really knew what i wanted to check in the store, so i was just passing and wandering between shelves with tones of books. needed to look at any different books than the ones about media and new media and new new media and any fucking kind of the media. i came up to the music books department and started to glaze without any thoughts in my head. than realized that i was looking on the new edition of that malins' biography, updated with years 2000-2006. holy shit.
suddenly i felt like i was going back in time. i really felt like i had 15 years again. like somebody has written down a part of my life!
sth from the year 2001:
ps. this is the only JUDAS that should ever count:
ps2. if you listen to 'i am you', imagine stars exploding in the sky :)
czwartek, 26 maja 2011
sobota, 21 maja 2011
so much more than everything
yes, it's going to be another note of the old person, who wants to turn back the time. not even because i want to live through everything again, cos i don't. i wish i could feel some things as much as i did in the past.
always knew i'm gonna use this sentence somewhere. and it's the right time and the right place.
feeling homesick for a place that doesn't exist.
it's like the motto of my generation. everybody longs for something but nobody knows for what exactly.
all these songs remind me of times when i was surrounded more by my own imagination, than facts that were really happening. but hey, what can you do, when you totally love your inner world and the outer one makes jokes of you most of the time? or you just feel that you don't fit. simple as that.
it's not bad. it's good for you, because you can be whoever you want to be, you can do whatever you like to do. I've gone through lots my other personalities, i've created myself many times.
but the core is always the same.
one part of it is a friend of mine. i will write about her some other time, because it's a long long long and boring story. nothing happened, we still like each other, still write emails, call sometimes. don't really meet these days. and that's something that's driving me mad. she was acually the only one who ALWAYS believed in me, who was always more supportive than any other person in the world, she wanted me to conquer the world and stay honest with myself and she was the the one who told me that every decision i make in my life will be good for me and she will always stand by my side. she was the one who practically saved my life. who slapped me in the face when i wanted to make a change that would really harm my life.
so.
her birthay is coming this week.
let me celebrate it by few songs.
songs of longing and/or songs of those times. some breake me into thousands of little pieces.
and the biggest killers:
always knew i'm gonna use this sentence somewhere. and it's the right time and the right place.
feeling homesick for a place that doesn't exist.
it's like the motto of my generation. everybody longs for something but nobody knows for what exactly.
all these songs remind me of times when i was surrounded more by my own imagination, than facts that were really happening. but hey, what can you do, when you totally love your inner world and the outer one makes jokes of you most of the time? or you just feel that you don't fit. simple as that.
it's not bad. it's good for you, because you can be whoever you want to be, you can do whatever you like to do. I've gone through lots my other personalities, i've created myself many times.
but the core is always the same.
one part of it is a friend of mine. i will write about her some other time, because it's a long long long and boring story. nothing happened, we still like each other, still write emails, call sometimes. don't really meet these days. and that's something that's driving me mad. she was acually the only one who ALWAYS believed in me, who was always more supportive than any other person in the world, she wanted me to conquer the world and stay honest with myself and she was the the one who told me that every decision i make in my life will be good for me and she will always stand by my side. she was the one who practically saved my life. who slapped me in the face when i wanted to make a change that would really harm my life.
so.
her birthay is coming this week.
let me celebrate it by few songs.
songs of longing and/or songs of those times. some breake me into thousands of little pieces.
and the biggest killers:
piątek, 20 maja 2011
or is it an aeroplane?
two GREAT songs of the last week:
i love the lyrics, love the music, love jd, love the whole album. if you haven't heard it yet, check it, it's called 'talk about body'.
and
they are going to have a great career. and it's really hard not to love them.
and today was the premiere of patrck's new video for 'house' :)
here it is:
i love the lyrics, love the music, love jd, love the whole album. if you haven't heard it yet, check it, it's called 'talk about body'.
and
they are going to have a great career. and it's really hard not to love them.
and today was the premiere of patrck's new video for 'house' :)
here it is:
niedziela, 15 maja 2011
why kd is so important for me
it's one of milions of her words. and it's only a part of her wisdom. some may not even get it and still think that i'm stupid cos i like her.
but she makes me think. she makes my brains work.
to everyone who doesn't get that you can have a different point of view, that you can feel in a different way, that you don't have to care about what the whole world thinks.
being yourself means constant working on your fucking ego. people change. it's not even growing up. it's coming to terms with the fact that you are not the most important person in eveybody's lives. it's about enjoying who you are, what you have, the world that surrounds you. you don't have to explain it all to your so called friends. you don't have to explain youself at all.
and deffinitely it's not about fighting for the attention. if you don't get the attention because of being yourself, it's really not good. playing is not good for you. nor for the others.
it's about understanding that you not only have to be a friend in need. sometimes you just have to be a friend. sometimes just be.
just give a fucking shit about sth else than you own ass.
but she makes me think. she makes my brains work.
to everyone who doesn't get that you can have a different point of view, that you can feel in a different way, that you don't have to care about what the whole world thinks.
being yourself means constant working on your fucking ego. people change. it's not even growing up. it's coming to terms with the fact that you are not the most important person in eveybody's lives. it's about enjoying who you are, what you have, the world that surrounds you. you don't have to explain it all to your so called friends. you don't have to explain youself at all.
and deffinitely it's not about fighting for the attention. if you don't get the attention because of being yourself, it's really not good. playing is not good for you. nor for the others.
it's about understanding that you not only have to be a friend in need. sometimes you just have to be a friend. sometimes just be.
just give a fucking shit about sth else than you own ass.
niedziela, 1 maja 2011
just nineteen
it's really funny how different things stick to your mind and after years they are so mixed with each other. together, they make this strange cloud of your fantasies, facts, dreams, feelings, emotions, colours... everything.
that's how it is for me and placebo, oscar wilde, first year of high school, snowing in april and the great creation of basil who i still call my alter-ego and who has grown into byebasil in the 'real' virtual world.
it's also the way how two sping weekends of 2003 merged in one.
ok.
spring has already started. it was the end of march or first week of april, can't remember. the year... 2003.
yes, 'sleeping with ghosts', which is for most of placebo fans the most important album, had it's premiere. my friends and i left school early of friday and tried to make most of first sping signs in the city. and as i was crazy about stealing posters from the streets i took off the placebo one from some wall. then we went to the biggest music store in warsaw and i asked them if they could give me a now poster instead of the stolen one, because mine is a bit broken and i'd love to have a nice poster. they said no. well...
the merged part of that memory is that i also remember a meeting with my friend from the polish depeche mode board, which also took place somewhere during that days, who also loved placebo. we went to that same store on friday, i had the same poster. there was a meeting with our favourite music journalist at the time - piotr stelmach.
after that i came back home, packed and my parens and i left for mazury (district in poland with lots of lakes and woods). we were almost there when it started to snow. so heavy! we drove into this white tunnel of snow, of the biggest snowflakes i have ever seen! and yes, it was april.
we got to the cottage house, warmed by the fireplace and before i went to sleep i started reading 'picture of dorian grey'. the next day was totally surreal. i was waking this long wood road to the lake, it started to snow again and i was listening to marc almond's 'stranger things'. i remember listening to song called 'glorious' and i have felt glorious as well. came back to the house, finished the book, unpacked my notebook and pen and started writing. i finished at about 4am but my favourite story was finished. it was the story of basil, a teenager who is madly in love with an older woman. suddenly he loses consciousness in a bus and wakes up at her place.
and placebo was at that time a really alternative band. brian was like a god child of david bowie. his make ups and dresses were so exciting to watch, thinking that you can't get more... i dunno, strange? but there was a part of me that wished to become a boy and start being like brian, to paint my nails black and wear tones of make up. and be so undefined.
alright. the music.
oh and what i wanted to tell you all by this note..
placebo for me is now like a teenage fantasy. when i say placebo i automatically go on a jurney to my teeange years. and i don't want to cry out that "i'm getting old.." but the truth is that i am. and the older i get, the harder it gets to have all of those fantasies. but the most important thing is to never stop.
N E V E R S T O P.
because one day you will wake up as the old, bitter person with no dreams in your head.
ok, i know, you won't pay your bills with the dreams (that would be cool, eh?) but being old and bitter is something i hope i will never be.
we all need to have a bit of kitten in ourselves.
that's how it is for me and placebo, oscar wilde, first year of high school, snowing in april and the great creation of basil who i still call my alter-ego and who has grown into byebasil in the 'real' virtual world.
it's also the way how two sping weekends of 2003 merged in one.
ok.
spring has already started. it was the end of march or first week of april, can't remember. the year... 2003.
yes, 'sleeping with ghosts', which is for most of placebo fans the most important album, had it's premiere. my friends and i left school early of friday and tried to make most of first sping signs in the city. and as i was crazy about stealing posters from the streets i took off the placebo one from some wall. then we went to the biggest music store in warsaw and i asked them if they could give me a now poster instead of the stolen one, because mine is a bit broken and i'd love to have a nice poster. they said no. well...
the merged part of that memory is that i also remember a meeting with my friend from the polish depeche mode board, which also took place somewhere during that days, who also loved placebo. we went to that same store on friday, i had the same poster. there was a meeting with our favourite music journalist at the time - piotr stelmach.
after that i came back home, packed and my parens and i left for mazury (district in poland with lots of lakes and woods). we were almost there when it started to snow. so heavy! we drove into this white tunnel of snow, of the biggest snowflakes i have ever seen! and yes, it was april.
we got to the cottage house, warmed by the fireplace and before i went to sleep i started reading 'picture of dorian grey'. the next day was totally surreal. i was waking this long wood road to the lake, it started to snow again and i was listening to marc almond's 'stranger things'. i remember listening to song called 'glorious' and i have felt glorious as well. came back to the house, finished the book, unpacked my notebook and pen and started writing. i finished at about 4am but my favourite story was finished. it was the story of basil, a teenager who is madly in love with an older woman. suddenly he loses consciousness in a bus and wakes up at her place.
and placebo was at that time a really alternative band. brian was like a god child of david bowie. his make ups and dresses were so exciting to watch, thinking that you can't get more... i dunno, strange? but there was a part of me that wished to become a boy and start being like brian, to paint my nails black and wear tones of make up. and be so undefined.
alright. the music.
oh and what i wanted to tell you all by this note..
placebo for me is now like a teenage fantasy. when i say placebo i automatically go on a jurney to my teeange years. and i don't want to cry out that "i'm getting old.." but the truth is that i am. and the older i get, the harder it gets to have all of those fantasies. but the most important thing is to never stop.
N E V E R S T O P.
because one day you will wake up as the old, bitter person with no dreams in your head.
ok, i know, you won't pay your bills with the dreams (that would be cool, eh?) but being old and bitter is something i hope i will never be.
we all need to have a bit of kitten in ourselves.
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